Thursday, March 29, 2012

My Platform: Abolish Spring Break

I've kept quiet about the spring practices because after so much time losing hair sleep over what happens in April, I just don't have the energy to worry about which 5th string QB is 'really lighting it up.'

Sound familiar: "OMG! That walk-on from Cogdell was 9 of 10 with 157 yards and 3 TD's! QB competition is the bombz! Fire Bobo!."
I was gonna play some ball, but I got high.
However, the recent news of likely suspensions got me thinking I might run for office just to abolish spring break. I know Georgia has one of the toughest testing and suspension policies in the SEC and nation.  We have to do something. I get where Coach Richt is going with the tough policy. Don't do drugs, hippies.

Clearly, it ain't working.

I know abolishing spring break won't stop it. The comments on any blog, fan post site or newspaper article make it clear that all of us were basically smoked up horn dogs with kleptomaniac tendencies when we were in college. No, I call on Coach Richt to do something more drastic: Drug test the whole team every two weeks.

If you want to keep them from smoking up (I have to assume it was pot; if it were something stronger I believe we'd be talking rehab and such), test all of them all the time. If the idea of a possible random drug test catching them or lung damage (myth propagated by all the coughing) isn't doing it, then test all of them all the time.

As for the Fulmer Cup hit, unless Orson decides to pull Commissioner's privilege, there is no real danger there. I don't think he will because it didn't involve standard Athens fare such as roving gangs of mopedist passing out on the shitters of bad Italian joints and whatnot. Or not knowing your middle name.


-The Haze Thickens, Weiszer - ABH

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