Dear 340 pound 8 ounce Bowl Santa,
Obviously, I want UGA to go to the Sugar Bowl, but I want to focus this letter on what I want for others. My wish is for the Gator Bowl to select the University of Florida vs. the University of Illinois.
Because, dearest Gray Bearded and Not at All Creepy Bowl Santa, this benefits me (and the universe at large) in so many ways. For Florida to qualify for the Gator Bowl, they would likely have to beat the Gamecocks...which helps UGA. Plus, a potential loss to the Fighting Zookers would be an irremovable and unforgivable stain on the resume of one Will "Boom" Muschamp." One that would result in much laughter and happiness in the world.
Thank you for listening Bowl Santa. Your friend,